Letter to Leyna

Dear Leyna,

I've been thinking about you constantly and decided maybe writing a letter to you would help me.  I lay awake at night wondering what you are doing. I hope you read our journey one day and see how much we loved you before we even knew you.  Our adoption road has taken many twists and turns.  I believe they were to lead us to you.  I still try and guard my heart because I know nothing is certain in adoption until we have you home.  I pray everyday that things will continue to work out to bring you home.  It hasn't even been a month since we first found out about you.  There is still so much more I want to know.  We are working hard with the lawyer to have all the paperwork ready to go to court.  Hopefully the lawyer will have them in a few days and we can continue on.
We just received an update on you a few days ago.  I look at your picture everyday.  You are in a foster home now with a nice foster mom.  Your foster home seems to be nice with lots of toys and food.  That was so great to hear.  A volunteer will go and check on you every month to send us an update and pictures.  She said you like your bouncer.  You were playing and bouncing in it while she was there.  Your foster mom said you still wake up a few times at night.  You look very healthy from your pictures.  We pray all day that you continue to stay healthy. 
You brothers and sister can't wait to have you home.  Especially Amaya!  She wants to buy things for you all the time. Whenever we are in the store she thinks her baby sister needs something.  She is excited to not be the only girl. 
So until I can hold you I will write letters!  I love you and can't wait to meet you. 

Love,
     Mom

From nothing to "I found your daugher!"

It was only four days after my last post that I received an email from our coordinator. "I found your daughter."  From June 25th until now we've been scrambling around.  We were overwhelmed with a referral so quickly.  We also had in our mind a toddler.  Our age range was 0-3.  We have a referral of a 3 month old baby girl!!  We've been busy trying to get our paperwork back from our agency we terminated with, translating documents, and trying to pull money together quickly to sign up with the attorney.  I just mailed our dossier yesterday.  The process can now move forward once they receive all our documents.  I hope I have everything they need and filled everything out right.  I had just resolved in my mind that it would probably be next summer before we were close to bringing our daughter home.  Now I'm really hoping by Christmas.  I think that may be pushing it a little fast but that is what I'm praying for.  Now that I have a picture I think of her constantly.  I hope she is being loved.  She is in a foster home.  I received a report she is doing well.  The foster home is clean with plenty of toys and food.  Someone will be checking on her once a month and sending us an update with pictures.  I'm trying to still be open that things can happen.  I know of other families that have lost their referral to family members coming to claim the children or the referral passing away.  Adoption is definitely not a black and white process.  Every one's journey is different.  I'm so excited to start this part of the process after a year of waiting.  Now I will have more to blog about.  We are really hoping we can raise the money to travel.  It will be faster than we thought.  We are doing lots of praying!

Ahhh...One Year!

It's now been one year since we started all our paperwork to begin our adoption.  I really thought by now we would have a referral and be close to traveling.  I can't believe the twists and turns adoption takes.  There have been many times I wanted to walk away from everything but I keep being pulled back and know we are suppose to continue.  Raising the money has been more difficult than I thought.  As soon as we seem to be making progress a big unexpected expense will come along. (having to buy a new van for one)  We have moved and downsized our home to help save more money.  We just received an unexpected donation from a family member.  It was a true answer to our prayers!
We are now pursuing an independent adoption route.  The agency we were with had many problems continue to arise with families and their adoptions.  It was a really hard decision to make to walk away from the money we already spent with them.  I just don't feel confident that our adoption could continue with them without serious problems.  As problems were reported by other families I was trying to keep an open mind and give the agency a chance to correct the problems.  I continued to pray and as much as I didn't want to walk away I know we need to.  I'm nervous as we begin to start over but hopeful we are doing the right thing.
Since it's been a year we have to update all our paperwork.  We will have to submit an updated homestudy.  Here is hoping to a productive year to come!!  Hopefully by this time next year we will have our daughter home!!  Amaya sure can't wait either.  She is still constantly talking about her sister.

TIME

It's hard to believe how much time is going by.  When we first decided to adopt I didn't think it would take this long.  I've been staying busy working part time as a 5th grade tutor.  It has been a great blessing to help us raise money for our adoption.  Since I've been working a lot and busy with kids time is flying by.  I haven't had time to update my blog.  Not that there is much to update.

Many families that are using our same agency are picking up their kids from Congo.  Its been exciting to watch their journey and how they finally are able to go to Congo.  Once we receive a referral it will still take another 9-12 months before we can travel!!  With so much time to think about a million different scenarios you start having doubts.  Are we doing the right thing?  With every doubt there comes peace.  I know there is a child out there that belongs with our family.  I know it will come with many challenges but also rewards.  I pray every day that we will be a good match for a child.  That when the time comes everyone will be able to adjust and love each other.

Amaya still talks about her baby sister.  I'm sure in her mind it feels like it will never happen.  It's hard enough for me to understand the process.  I'm looking forward to the day we receive our referral and move to the next part.  I know it will be even harder than because I will have a name and picture of our child and know they are around the world in an orphanage waiting.

#8

We are number 8 on the waiting list!  I'm hoping maybe by March we will be matched with a one or two children.  We are open to two children if one is a girl.  Amaya still talks about her baby sister.  She asked the other day what color her baby sister would be.  I've always loved watching my children discover that Larry and I are different colors and they are different also.  It's usually around age 4 and it's like a lightbulb goes on.  Jayden asked why I was gray and his dad was black and he was brown.  I told Amaya that her baby sister will probably be more like daddy's color.  We are excited for the day we get to see a picture.  I think about our next Christmas and we will have one or two more children!

Not So Good At Blogging

I knew this would probably happen.  Life is busy and I don't make time to write anything.  I'm really hoping to do better.  My youngest sister had her baby girl, Isabella, on October 9th.  Her due date was Dec. 19th.  So I spend a lot of time at the NICCU with my sister.  She was 1lb 13 oz.  She is having a really rough start.  A week ago she had open heart surgery.  She is still trying to stay stable on her oxygen.  They change her machines often trying to find the right one.  It is amazing the technology they have to save babies this small.  I thought about the babies in other countries if they are born this small.  They don't really have a chance to survive.  In my sister's case both her and the baby would've died if they lived in another country without all the resources we have.  We are so lucky to have all that we do here.
The positive thing about being so busy is time is going by fast.  We've had all our paperwork turned into our agency and now we are just waiting for a match.  I think about our future daughter a lot.  The kids talk about it a lot and can't wait.  I just got a part time job being a tutor at the school I sub at a lot.  It is a great blessing because I will be able to have 5 months of a consistent pay check.  It will help a lot with all our expenses that will be coming up.  Once we are matched we have a huge payment due!  I hope to write another post this week.

I600a Mailed! Check!

One more thing checked off our list of things to complete for our adoption.  Homeland Security office should receive our application for the I600a today.  It is our 'petition to adopt'.  Now we have to wait for a fingerprint appointment.  Once we have the appointment we go to a Federal building to be fingerprinted.  Then we wait for the approval letter.  The approval letter is the last piece of paper needed to mail off our dossier.  It will be so nice to mail off all the paperwork and then we wait some more.  I'm really hoping we have a referral by Christmas.  I'll find out our official number on the wait list when I mail the dossier with another payment.