So Many Emotions!!!

     It has been a long time since I wrote anything here.  I've been working full time until we leave to pick up Leyna.  It is such a blessing to have this long term sub job.  Our funds are depleting quickly.  Who am I kidding our funds are depleted and we are living on Faith!  We have our plane tickets bought and reservations made.  We fly out December 3 and return on Dec 22.  I can't believe we are so close.  In less than 2 weeks we will have Leyna with us!
     I have so many emotions right now.  If I went into a therapist they might diagnose me with something.  I'm so excited to be leaving soon.  I should be so happy all the time right?  But, I have such sadness too. Our gain is another mother's lose.  We don't know anything about Leyna's parents.  I know her mother carried her and loved her.  I know if there was any way her mother could have  taken care of her she would have.  I know her birth mother must be so beautiful because Leyna is.
     My heart is heavy with the thought of so many orphans in the world.  Today is Thanksgiving.  We will eat more calories in one day than many kids will eat in a month.  I think sometimes adopting can be romanticised.  Some think just giving a child a loving home is enough.  I know Leyna is only 6 months old and will not remember her time in Congo.  I have no doubt she will still suffer grief.  We are lucky that she has been in a foster home.  It looks like she has been taken care of well.  We will be taking her away from all she's ever known.  I pray often that she will grow up to know how much we love her.  I pray that she will know that she has a Heavenly Father that loves her.  So often people can turn away from God because they think he shouldn't allow so much suffering.  I don't know why I was born into a country where I have freedom and safety.  I don't know why others are born in countries that are so corrupt there is no chance of succeeding.  I do know that our Heavenly Father cries with me.  I know that He is aware of the suffering.  He is hoping His other children will help those that are in need.
     Right now in Congo rebels have taken over a city about 1000 miles from Kinshasa.  There are now more orphans.  There are rumors that the rebels will march to Kinshasa to take over the Capital.  What will that mean for all the children there?  How can we stop this?  It is so easy in America to put on our blinders and think someone else will help.  I pray that the rebels will be stopped.  We need more righteous people to stand up.
     I've had many people tell me how lucky Leyna will be to be in our family.  I hope we will be a good family for her.  I hope that she will feel loved and like she belongs with us.  I feel like I'm the lucky one to have her in our family.  I haven't held her yet but she has already changed my life.  I was content with 3 kids all in school.  I had more freedom. All our children can do a lot for themselves.  Now I will be starting all over.  Leyna has opened my eyes to another world.  She has taught me to listen to my Heavenly Father.  She has taught me to have Faith and Hope.  I know there will challenges to come but I know this is what we are suppose to be doing.  It has been a long journey getting here.  A new journey will be starting soon.  I can't wait to hold her and tell her how much we love her.  I'm so grateful for family and friends supporting us in our journey. 

I600 is in Texas!!

We finally have all the paperwork needed to file our I600!!!  I mailed it off and it should be there today.  It is a relief but then I get nervous I did something wrong.  Did I put all the documents in? Did I miss anything I should've filled out?  Now we at the mercy of the US Immigration.  Hurry up and wait is the game of adoption.  I'm praying for a quick approval.  It could be 3-8 weeks before we are approved.  Obviously I'm hoping for 4 weeks!!  Once we have that we can have our Embassy appointment and then wait for her VISA.  So we are still several weeks out before we can travel.  I really really really hope we have her home before Christmas.  It would be heart breaking not to have her here with us.  I know we are getting close but it still seems unreal.  Our case is moving quickly compared to other that use an agency.  We are so lucky to be using DRC Adoption Services!  They help every step of the way.  Adoption is so confusing with so many steps and when to do things.  I've loved having such wonderful people help us bring our daughter home.  It gets harder harder to wait. I'm hoping we will have an update coming soon with some new pictures.  She is growing so much since the newborn picture we saw.  Oh and we have a date of birth! June 4, 2012!!  Now all I can do is wait for the next few weeks.

Dear Leyna

Dear Leyna,

Friday we received a long awaited update and pictures.  I couldn't stop smiling all day.  You've grown so much already.  You are growing into a beautiful little girl.  You look happy. A man came to visit you in your foster home to check on you.  He said you looked happy and healthy.  Your foster home is a nice home.  He told you about your brothers and sister.  He also told you about your mom and dad waiting to come and pick you up.  We can't wait!!  We look at your picture everyday.  We are waiting for your Birth Certificate so we can file more paperwork to come and get you.  We are still hoping to see you in November.  It can't come fast enough.  Your sister Amaya talks about you to anyone who will listen.  Her teacher at school said she talks about you a lot.    A family is in Congo right now picking up their children.  I follow their story and look forward to the day it will be our story coming to get you.  We love you and continue to pray for your health and that you are happy.

Love,
Mom

Passed Court & 30 Day wait almost over!!!!

I can't believe it.  We found out August 20th we passed court.  I just looked through the documents that are all in French and saw the dates were Aug 7th!  I thought we were still waiting on a court date.  Our lawyer doesn't update our coordinator on every detail so this was a great surprise.  If I read the documents right our 30 days will be up this week!  So what's next.  We have to apply for our immigration I600, apply for Leyna's visa and birth certificate and passport.  All of these steps can take 4-8 weeks.  So it looks like Novemeber there is still a good chance we can travel in November.

My mind keeps spinning with how much stuff I still need to get ready.  We have no baby things. Then there is the lists of things we need to take with us when we travel.  I'm so lucky to be part of an online adoption community that helps with what we need to take with us.  It has been so encouraging seeing and reading other's journeys also.  It is a great way to get support.  Adoption is so complicated in so many ways that I love having others to ask questions. 

I look at Leyna's picture every day.  We pray for her as a family every day.  It's been amazing to see God's hand leading us throughout the whole process.  It has taken a lot of faith and prayers to get to this point.  We are so excited!

Waiting for Consent

We have all our documents in DRC now.  It is great to be onto the next step.  We are waiting for the Consent to Adopt from the Commune.  What does that mean?  The Commune (kind of like a county probably) reviews the petition that we want to adopt her and will give their ok.  Once we receive the consent our lawyer can file all of our paperwork to court.  There really is no set timeline on how long it takes to pass court.  It could be 2 weeks or 3 months.  We are really hoping for the 2 weeks!  Once we pass court we have to wait 30 days and make sure no relatives come forward to protest the adoption.  Once that is done we can start applying for the Visa and passport.  So we still have a ways to go.  We should know how things will move along within the next month.  This will determine if there is any possibility of us traveling before the end of the year.  That is what we are really hoping for.  I can't wait to receive pictures and an update soon.  It is so hard to not be constantly wondering how she is doing.  What is she doing.  How long will it be before we get to see her.  We just can't wait!

Letter to Leyna

Dear Leyna,

I've been thinking about you constantly and decided maybe writing a letter to you would help me.  I lay awake at night wondering what you are doing. I hope you read our journey one day and see how much we loved you before we even knew you.  Our adoption road has taken many twists and turns.  I believe they were to lead us to you.  I still try and guard my heart because I know nothing is certain in adoption until we have you home.  I pray everyday that things will continue to work out to bring you home.  It hasn't even been a month since we first found out about you.  There is still so much more I want to know.  We are working hard with the lawyer to have all the paperwork ready to go to court.  Hopefully the lawyer will have them in a few days and we can continue on.
We just received an update on you a few days ago.  I look at your picture everyday.  You are in a foster home now with a nice foster mom.  Your foster home seems to be nice with lots of toys and food.  That was so great to hear.  A volunteer will go and check on you every month to send us an update and pictures.  She said you like your bouncer.  You were playing and bouncing in it while she was there.  Your foster mom said you still wake up a few times at night.  You look very healthy from your pictures.  We pray all day that you continue to stay healthy. 
You brothers and sister can't wait to have you home.  Especially Amaya!  She wants to buy things for you all the time. Whenever we are in the store she thinks her baby sister needs something.  She is excited to not be the only girl. 
So until I can hold you I will write letters!  I love you and can't wait to meet you. 

Love,
     Mom

From nothing to "I found your daugher!"

It was only four days after my last post that I received an email from our coordinator. "I found your daughter."  From June 25th until now we've been scrambling around.  We were overwhelmed with a referral so quickly.  We also had in our mind a toddler.  Our age range was 0-3.  We have a referral of a 3 month old baby girl!!  We've been busy trying to get our paperwork back from our agency we terminated with, translating documents, and trying to pull money together quickly to sign up with the attorney.  I just mailed our dossier yesterday.  The process can now move forward once they receive all our documents.  I hope I have everything they need and filled everything out right.  I had just resolved in my mind that it would probably be next summer before we were close to bringing our daughter home.  Now I'm really hoping by Christmas.  I think that may be pushing it a little fast but that is what I'm praying for.  Now that I have a picture I think of her constantly.  I hope she is being loved.  She is in a foster home.  I received a report she is doing well.  The foster home is clean with plenty of toys and food.  Someone will be checking on her once a month and sending us an update with pictures.  I'm trying to still be open that things can happen.  I know of other families that have lost their referral to family members coming to claim the children or the referral passing away.  Adoption is definitely not a black and white process.  Every one's journey is different.  I'm so excited to start this part of the process after a year of waiting.  Now I will have more to blog about.  We are really hoping we can raise the money to travel.  It will be faster than we thought.  We are doing lots of praying!

Ahhh...One Year!

It's now been one year since we started all our paperwork to begin our adoption.  I really thought by now we would have a referral and be close to traveling.  I can't believe the twists and turns adoption takes.  There have been many times I wanted to walk away from everything but I keep being pulled back and know we are suppose to continue.  Raising the money has been more difficult than I thought.  As soon as we seem to be making progress a big unexpected expense will come along. (having to buy a new van for one)  We have moved and downsized our home to help save more money.  We just received an unexpected donation from a family member.  It was a true answer to our prayers!
We are now pursuing an independent adoption route.  The agency we were with had many problems continue to arise with families and their adoptions.  It was a really hard decision to make to walk away from the money we already spent with them.  I just don't feel confident that our adoption could continue with them without serious problems.  As problems were reported by other families I was trying to keep an open mind and give the agency a chance to correct the problems.  I continued to pray and as much as I didn't want to walk away I know we need to.  I'm nervous as we begin to start over but hopeful we are doing the right thing.
Since it's been a year we have to update all our paperwork.  We will have to submit an updated homestudy.  Here is hoping to a productive year to come!!  Hopefully by this time next year we will have our daughter home!!  Amaya sure can't wait either.  She is still constantly talking about her sister.

TIME

It's hard to believe how much time is going by.  When we first decided to adopt I didn't think it would take this long.  I've been staying busy working part time as a 5th grade tutor.  It has been a great blessing to help us raise money for our adoption.  Since I've been working a lot and busy with kids time is flying by.  I haven't had time to update my blog.  Not that there is much to update.

Many families that are using our same agency are picking up their kids from Congo.  Its been exciting to watch their journey and how they finally are able to go to Congo.  Once we receive a referral it will still take another 9-12 months before we can travel!!  With so much time to think about a million different scenarios you start having doubts.  Are we doing the right thing?  With every doubt there comes peace.  I know there is a child out there that belongs with our family.  I know it will come with many challenges but also rewards.  I pray every day that we will be a good match for a child.  That when the time comes everyone will be able to adjust and love each other.

Amaya still talks about her baby sister.  I'm sure in her mind it feels like it will never happen.  It's hard enough for me to understand the process.  I'm looking forward to the day we receive our referral and move to the next part.  I know it will be even harder than because I will have a name and picture of our child and know they are around the world in an orphanage waiting.