Dec 4, 2012 First Time Meeting Leyna

This post is long over due!!  Since we've returned from DRC we've been very busy and time has flown by.  I have a lot of catching up to do on the blog.  I've been thinking about the first time we met Leyna and how to put it into words.  I wish I was a brilliant writer but I'm not so my simple words will have to do.

Leyna is now 10 months old.  We met her 4 months ago on Dec 4, 2012.  We had so much anticipation and excitement on our flight to DRC.  I've read so many blogs that I was nervous to enter the country.  We landed at 3:00 pm.  We had to exit the plane on the tar mat and wait to load buses to the airport.  Landing we could see the huge city of Kinshasa.

I learned quickly to not judge too fast.  I heard a lot about police asking for money.  So when we got inside the airport I immediately thought everyone that was helping us was going to ask us for money.  We were filling out our cards to enter the country when a guard came up to Larry to ask if he was Larry.  Our in country representative had sent him to check on us.  He was very nice and helped us get through the first part of the airport.  Where we went to get our luggage was crazy.  There were so many people and the belt the luggage came on was very small.  We were starting to worry because our luggage took at least 45 mins to come.  During that time several different workers there came to talk with me while Larry was looking for our luggage.  The workers were so nice and helpful to us.  They wanted to make sure we had all our luggage.  Not one of them asked us for money!! I was humbled and was sorry to judge them all too quickly. We went outside and our representative, Etienne, was there waiting for us.

The car ride to St Annes is so hard to describe.  This is were I wish I was the brilliant writer.  After driving around there for several weeks I would call it organized chaos.  I can't believe in the 4 weeks I was there I never saw an accident or someone getting hit.  It truly is a miracle.  The roads are a combination of paved and dirt roads. There are no real lanes.  Drivers will make their own lanes.  So many people are constantly crossing the roads.  There are no crosswalks and drivers do not stop for them!! During our drive to St Annes Etienne was giving us a talk he probably gives every new family coming.  He talked how we need to be really strong while we are in DRC and things are a lot different than the US.  He said how many US moms cry to him so I need to be strong.  Oh looking back on that talk it was so true!!  He knew what he was talking about.  I do have to say I thought I did pretty good.  I only cried once to him and it was on the phone!  That doesn't mean I didn't cry by myself.

The day every parent dreams of is what it will be like when we see our daughter.  I didn't know if they would bring her to us the next day or not.  I really thought we'd get settled and then they'd bring her.  Well we got our luggage in the room and had a few minutes to grab the camera before Leyna's foster mom was at our door with her.

I was so nervous!!  Here she was after looking at her pictures for months.  She is so much smaller than I thought.  She was tiny!  She came to us without crying.  We talked with her foster mom for about 30 mins.  I will be forever grateful to her.  She was loving and kind.  Leyna just sat with us.  She wouldn't cry but just had a blank look.  I can't imagine what a change she just went through.  The pictures are the first time I held her and she slept on me.  I look at them now and can see a difference in her.  I didn't know how I'd feel towards her.  I was preparing myself that if I didn't connect right away that it's ok.  Bonding could take time and I tried to prepare for that.

It was so overwhelming after traveling for so long and now we had her.  I'm so thankful that night I had the strongest confirmation that she is our daughter and this is what I fought so hard for.  To think we almost stopped our adoption process several times for different reasons.  I'm so glad I continued to pray and receive answers to keep going.  I loved her the moment I held her.  I know this is a blessing to feel this so quickly.  The past 4 months with her have been amazing.  I hope to catch my blog up with more of our time in Congo.

So many people tell me how lucky she is to have us as her family.  I tell them no we are lucky to have her and she has changed our lives more than we could ever have imagined!

So Many Emotions!!!

     It has been a long time since I wrote anything here.  I've been working full time until we leave to pick up Leyna.  It is such a blessing to have this long term sub job.  Our funds are depleting quickly.  Who am I kidding our funds are depleted and we are living on Faith!  We have our plane tickets bought and reservations made.  We fly out December 3 and return on Dec 22.  I can't believe we are so close.  In less than 2 weeks we will have Leyna with us!
     I have so many emotions right now.  If I went into a therapist they might diagnose me with something.  I'm so excited to be leaving soon.  I should be so happy all the time right?  But, I have such sadness too. Our gain is another mother's lose.  We don't know anything about Leyna's parents.  I know her mother carried her and loved her.  I know if there was any way her mother could have  taken care of her she would have.  I know her birth mother must be so beautiful because Leyna is.
     My heart is heavy with the thought of so many orphans in the world.  Today is Thanksgiving.  We will eat more calories in one day than many kids will eat in a month.  I think sometimes adopting can be romanticised.  Some think just giving a child a loving home is enough.  I know Leyna is only 6 months old and will not remember her time in Congo.  I have no doubt she will still suffer grief.  We are lucky that she has been in a foster home.  It looks like she has been taken care of well.  We will be taking her away from all she's ever known.  I pray often that she will grow up to know how much we love her.  I pray that she will know that she has a Heavenly Father that loves her.  So often people can turn away from God because they think he shouldn't allow so much suffering.  I don't know why I was born into a country where I have freedom and safety.  I don't know why others are born in countries that are so corrupt there is no chance of succeeding.  I do know that our Heavenly Father cries with me.  I know that He is aware of the suffering.  He is hoping His other children will help those that are in need.
     Right now in Congo rebels have taken over a city about 1000 miles from Kinshasa.  There are now more orphans.  There are rumors that the rebels will march to Kinshasa to take over the Capital.  What will that mean for all the children there?  How can we stop this?  It is so easy in America to put on our blinders and think someone else will help.  I pray that the rebels will be stopped.  We need more righteous people to stand up.
     I've had many people tell me how lucky Leyna will be to be in our family.  I hope we will be a good family for her.  I hope that she will feel loved and like she belongs with us.  I feel like I'm the lucky one to have her in our family.  I haven't held her yet but she has already changed my life.  I was content with 3 kids all in school.  I had more freedom. All our children can do a lot for themselves.  Now I will be starting all over.  Leyna has opened my eyes to another world.  She has taught me to listen to my Heavenly Father.  She has taught me to have Faith and Hope.  I know there will challenges to come but I know this is what we are suppose to be doing.  It has been a long journey getting here.  A new journey will be starting soon.  I can't wait to hold her and tell her how much we love her.  I'm so grateful for family and friends supporting us in our journey. 

I600 is in Texas!!

We finally have all the paperwork needed to file our I600!!!  I mailed it off and it should be there today.  It is a relief but then I get nervous I did something wrong.  Did I put all the documents in? Did I miss anything I should've filled out?  Now we at the mercy of the US Immigration.  Hurry up and wait is the game of adoption.  I'm praying for a quick approval.  It could be 3-8 weeks before we are approved.  Obviously I'm hoping for 4 weeks!!  Once we have that we can have our Embassy appointment and then wait for her VISA.  So we are still several weeks out before we can travel.  I really really really hope we have her home before Christmas.  It would be heart breaking not to have her here with us.  I know we are getting close but it still seems unreal.  Our case is moving quickly compared to other that use an agency.  We are so lucky to be using DRC Adoption Services!  They help every step of the way.  Adoption is so confusing with so many steps and when to do things.  I've loved having such wonderful people help us bring our daughter home.  It gets harder harder to wait. I'm hoping we will have an update coming soon with some new pictures.  She is growing so much since the newborn picture we saw.  Oh and we have a date of birth! June 4, 2012!!  Now all I can do is wait for the next few weeks.

Dear Leyna

Dear Leyna,

Friday we received a long awaited update and pictures.  I couldn't stop smiling all day.  You've grown so much already.  You are growing into a beautiful little girl.  You look happy. A man came to visit you in your foster home to check on you.  He said you looked happy and healthy.  Your foster home is a nice home.  He told you about your brothers and sister.  He also told you about your mom and dad waiting to come and pick you up.  We can't wait!!  We look at your picture everyday.  We are waiting for your Birth Certificate so we can file more paperwork to come and get you.  We are still hoping to see you in November.  It can't come fast enough.  Your sister Amaya talks about you to anyone who will listen.  Her teacher at school said she talks about you a lot.    A family is in Congo right now picking up their children.  I follow their story and look forward to the day it will be our story coming to get you.  We love you and continue to pray for your health and that you are happy.

Love,
Mom

Passed Court & 30 Day wait almost over!!!!

I can't believe it.  We found out August 20th we passed court.  I just looked through the documents that are all in French and saw the dates were Aug 7th!  I thought we were still waiting on a court date.  Our lawyer doesn't update our coordinator on every detail so this was a great surprise.  If I read the documents right our 30 days will be up this week!  So what's next.  We have to apply for our immigration I600, apply for Leyna's visa and birth certificate and passport.  All of these steps can take 4-8 weeks.  So it looks like Novemeber there is still a good chance we can travel in November.

My mind keeps spinning with how much stuff I still need to get ready.  We have no baby things. Then there is the lists of things we need to take with us when we travel.  I'm so lucky to be part of an online adoption community that helps with what we need to take with us.  It has been so encouraging seeing and reading other's journeys also.  It is a great way to get support.  Adoption is so complicated in so many ways that I love having others to ask questions. 

I look at Leyna's picture every day.  We pray for her as a family every day.  It's been amazing to see God's hand leading us throughout the whole process.  It has taken a lot of faith and prayers to get to this point.  We are so excited!

Waiting for Consent

We have all our documents in DRC now.  It is great to be onto the next step.  We are waiting for the Consent to Adopt from the Commune.  What does that mean?  The Commune (kind of like a county probably) reviews the petition that we want to adopt her and will give their ok.  Once we receive the consent our lawyer can file all of our paperwork to court.  There really is no set timeline on how long it takes to pass court.  It could be 2 weeks or 3 months.  We are really hoping for the 2 weeks!  Once we pass court we have to wait 30 days and make sure no relatives come forward to protest the adoption.  Once that is done we can start applying for the Visa and passport.  So we still have a ways to go.  We should know how things will move along within the next month.  This will determine if there is any possibility of us traveling before the end of the year.  That is what we are really hoping for.  I can't wait to receive pictures and an update soon.  It is so hard to not be constantly wondering how she is doing.  What is she doing.  How long will it be before we get to see her.  We just can't wait!

Letter to Leyna

Dear Leyna,

I've been thinking about you constantly and decided maybe writing a letter to you would help me.  I lay awake at night wondering what you are doing. I hope you read our journey one day and see how much we loved you before we even knew you.  Our adoption road has taken many twists and turns.  I believe they were to lead us to you.  I still try and guard my heart because I know nothing is certain in adoption until we have you home.  I pray everyday that things will continue to work out to bring you home.  It hasn't even been a month since we first found out about you.  There is still so much more I want to know.  We are working hard with the lawyer to have all the paperwork ready to go to court.  Hopefully the lawyer will have them in a few days and we can continue on.
We just received an update on you a few days ago.  I look at your picture everyday.  You are in a foster home now with a nice foster mom.  Your foster home seems to be nice with lots of toys and food.  That was so great to hear.  A volunteer will go and check on you every month to send us an update and pictures.  She said you like your bouncer.  You were playing and bouncing in it while she was there.  Your foster mom said you still wake up a few times at night.  You look very healthy from your pictures.  We pray all day that you continue to stay healthy. 
You brothers and sister can't wait to have you home.  Especially Amaya!  She wants to buy things for you all the time. Whenever we are in the store she thinks her baby sister needs something.  She is excited to not be the only girl. 
So until I can hold you I will write letters!  I love you and can't wait to meet you. 

Love,
     Mom

From nothing to "I found your daugher!"

It was only four days after my last post that I received an email from our coordinator. "I found your daughter."  From June 25th until now we've been scrambling around.  We were overwhelmed with a referral so quickly.  We also had in our mind a toddler.  Our age range was 0-3.  We have a referral of a 3 month old baby girl!!  We've been busy trying to get our paperwork back from our agency we terminated with, translating documents, and trying to pull money together quickly to sign up with the attorney.  I just mailed our dossier yesterday.  The process can now move forward once they receive all our documents.  I hope I have everything they need and filled everything out right.  I had just resolved in my mind that it would probably be next summer before we were close to bringing our daughter home.  Now I'm really hoping by Christmas.  I think that may be pushing it a little fast but that is what I'm praying for.  Now that I have a picture I think of her constantly.  I hope she is being loved.  She is in a foster home.  I received a report she is doing well.  The foster home is clean with plenty of toys and food.  Someone will be checking on her once a month and sending us an update with pictures.  I'm trying to still be open that things can happen.  I know of other families that have lost their referral to family members coming to claim the children or the referral passing away.  Adoption is definitely not a black and white process.  Every one's journey is different.  I'm so excited to start this part of the process after a year of waiting.  Now I will have more to blog about.  We are really hoping we can raise the money to travel.  It will be faster than we thought.  We are doing lots of praying!

Ahhh...One Year!

It's now been one year since we started all our paperwork to begin our adoption.  I really thought by now we would have a referral and be close to traveling.  I can't believe the twists and turns adoption takes.  There have been many times I wanted to walk away from everything but I keep being pulled back and know we are suppose to continue.  Raising the money has been more difficult than I thought.  As soon as we seem to be making progress a big unexpected expense will come along. (having to buy a new van for one)  We have moved and downsized our home to help save more money.  We just received an unexpected donation from a family member.  It was a true answer to our prayers!
We are now pursuing an independent adoption route.  The agency we were with had many problems continue to arise with families and their adoptions.  It was a really hard decision to make to walk away from the money we already spent with them.  I just don't feel confident that our adoption could continue with them without serious problems.  As problems were reported by other families I was trying to keep an open mind and give the agency a chance to correct the problems.  I continued to pray and as much as I didn't want to walk away I know we need to.  I'm nervous as we begin to start over but hopeful we are doing the right thing.
Since it's been a year we have to update all our paperwork.  We will have to submit an updated homestudy.  Here is hoping to a productive year to come!!  Hopefully by this time next year we will have our daughter home!!  Amaya sure can't wait either.  She is still constantly talking about her sister.

TIME

It's hard to believe how much time is going by.  When we first decided to adopt I didn't think it would take this long.  I've been staying busy working part time as a 5th grade tutor.  It has been a great blessing to help us raise money for our adoption.  Since I've been working a lot and busy with kids time is flying by.  I haven't had time to update my blog.  Not that there is much to update.

Many families that are using our same agency are picking up their kids from Congo.  Its been exciting to watch their journey and how they finally are able to go to Congo.  Once we receive a referral it will still take another 9-12 months before we can travel!!  With so much time to think about a million different scenarios you start having doubts.  Are we doing the right thing?  With every doubt there comes peace.  I know there is a child out there that belongs with our family.  I know it will come with many challenges but also rewards.  I pray every day that we will be a good match for a child.  That when the time comes everyone will be able to adjust and love each other.

Amaya still talks about her baby sister.  I'm sure in her mind it feels like it will never happen.  It's hard enough for me to understand the process.  I'm looking forward to the day we receive our referral and move to the next part.  I know it will be even harder than because I will have a name and picture of our child and know they are around the world in an orphanage waiting.

#8

We are number 8 on the waiting list!  I'm hoping maybe by March we will be matched with a one or two children.  We are open to two children if one is a girl.  Amaya still talks about her baby sister.  She asked the other day what color her baby sister would be.  I've always loved watching my children discover that Larry and I are different colors and they are different also.  It's usually around age 4 and it's like a lightbulb goes on.  Jayden asked why I was gray and his dad was black and he was brown.  I told Amaya that her baby sister will probably be more like daddy's color.  We are excited for the day we get to see a picture.  I think about our next Christmas and we will have one or two more children!

Not So Good At Blogging

I knew this would probably happen.  Life is busy and I don't make time to write anything.  I'm really hoping to do better.  My youngest sister had her baby girl, Isabella, on October 9th.  Her due date was Dec. 19th.  So I spend a lot of time at the NICCU with my sister.  She was 1lb 13 oz.  She is having a really rough start.  A week ago she had open heart surgery.  She is still trying to stay stable on her oxygen.  They change her machines often trying to find the right one.  It is amazing the technology they have to save babies this small.  I thought about the babies in other countries if they are born this small.  They don't really have a chance to survive.  In my sister's case both her and the baby would've died if they lived in another country without all the resources we have.  We are so lucky to have all that we do here.
The positive thing about being so busy is time is going by fast.  We've had all our paperwork turned into our agency and now we are just waiting for a match.  I think about our future daughter a lot.  The kids talk about it a lot and can't wait.  I just got a part time job being a tutor at the school I sub at a lot.  It is a great blessing because I will be able to have 5 months of a consistent pay check.  It will help a lot with all our expenses that will be coming up.  Once we are matched we have a huge payment due!  I hope to write another post this week.

I600a Mailed! Check!

One more thing checked off our list of things to complete for our adoption.  Homeland Security office should receive our application for the I600a today.  It is our 'petition to adopt'.  Now we have to wait for a fingerprint appointment.  Once we have the appointment we go to a Federal building to be fingerprinted.  Then we wait for the approval letter.  The approval letter is the last piece of paper needed to mail off our dossier.  It will be so nice to mail off all the paperwork and then we wait some more.  I'm really hoping we have a referral by Christmas.  I'll find out our official number on the wait list when I mail the dossier with another payment.

Sisters

My sisters are my best friends.  As Amaya started becoming older I've thought about my relationship with my sisters.  I really want Amaya to have a sister and be best friends.  I think about all the great things I do with my sisters and how we will always have each other.  This is why I wanted to choose to adopt one girl.  Although, I think boys are much easier to parent so far.  Amaya talks a lot about her baby sister.  She wants to know when she will be here.  She wants to buy clothes for her every time we are out shopping.  She just turned 6 and it's really hard for her to understand we don't know anything yet.  I tell her at the store we don't know how old she is or how big, so we have to wait to buy anything.  I'm hoping this is a start to a wonderful friendship.  It will be interesting when the adoption is finally done how Amaya will feel.  I can only hope that she will have a relationship like I have with my sisters!  We can't wait to meet our new daughter! (maybe son too?) 

Puzzle Fundraiser



Trying to think of ways to raise money for our adoption is very difficult.  We have paid for the first part but once we receive our referral we will have a big chunk of money we need to send in.  I really wish we just had it all and didn't have to think of fundraisers.  I think I'm learning I need to be humble and ask for help.  We've already had a few surprise donations which have been a blessing. 

I don't make amazing blankets or clothes.  I'm not an artist.  So I don't have anything I can make and sell.  I've seen the puzzle fundraiser on a few adoption websites.  I don't know how successful they are but it's worth a try.  I CAN put together a puzzle.  Here's how it works.  For every donation of $5 or more we will put your name on the back of a puzzle piece.  It's 500 pieces so we have enough pieces for everyone!!  We will frame the puzzle with glass on both sides so we can remember all of the people who helped us bring our daughter home.  We will hang it in her room.  You don't have to donate online.  You can mail it to us.  If you'd like our address you can email me at citejere@hotmail.com.  Thanks in advance for helping us!

As I searched for puzzles I had a few options that were African type puzzles.  Then I came across a puzzle that is my favorite painting by Greg Olsen.  The picture shows Christ leading a little girl.  For me it is like He is leading her to us.  When Amaya saw the picture she said "Hey that looks like me!"  That is why I love the picture.  My children can relate to it.  I know our future daughter will relate to it also.  Here is the poem that goes with the picture.  I plan to frame this also.
                                        

HAND IN HAND

Like a child in the woods I lost my way,
Alone and afraid I stopped to pray.

“Father in Heaven,” I cried in my need,
“Please guide me home, I’ll go where you lead.”

Like a light in the forest he sent down His Son,
My heart became warm, a new hope had begun.

“Take my hand and I’ll lead you,” I heard Him say,
“Stay by my side for I know the way.”

Now a child in the woods all filled with delight,
The journey is joyous as I walk in His light.

No longer alone in a shadow filled land,
He leads me home as we walk hand in hand.

Greg Olsen - 2007

Update Fundraiser & Homestudy

Today is the official day of Summer and I'm so happy for summer break.  I ended up having a long term sub job and I haven't had anytime to post.  A few weeks ago we had our first fundraiser.  We received a lot of donations for a huge yard sale.  We were so thankful for all the families that donated.  Our garage was looking like a scene from 'Hoarders'.  Larry and I woke up at 5am to start putting everything out.  Jayden and Keeyan also woke up early and didn't complain.  We had people start coming at 6:30am and they didn't stop until 12:30.  We were surprised because we live a little ways out and didn't think we would have so much traffic.  We made enough to cover the cost of our I600 and fingerprints!!  It was definitely worth all the work.  We had a lot of clothes left over so I'm going to sort through them and put them in a consignment sale in July.  I'm hoping to make a few more hundred there.  I'm still trying to think of other ways to raise some more money.  I think the cost of adoption is what keeps so many people away.  It is so expensive and a big sacrifice.  Another way to think of it though is how much do we spend on a car loan?  It is easy to spend a lot and what do we have to show for it.  It doesn't last forever and will depreciate in value.  Whereas bringing our child or children to our family will increase our family in ways we don't realize and it will last forever!!
HOMESTUDY
We are on our last interview for our homestudy!!  Saturday will complete the interviews.  We have 3 total and I've been trying to get the paperwork ready.  The kids medical checkups are done.  Larry and I have ours next week.  We are waiting for our background checks.  The Homestudy should be all ready by mid July.  Once we have our homestudy we can apply for the I600a from the government.  I'm hoping we have everything ready by then to send in our Dossier to our Agency.  FYI the Dossier is all the documents required by D.R. of Congo to adopt.  Once they receive it they translate it and we are waiting for a referral!!  It will be nice to have all the paperwork done for the first part and then we start the waiting game.

Congo

When we first started thinking about adoption we wanted to adopt from Ethiopia.  I did a lot of research and had friends that adopted from there.  I fell in love with the country and the people.  There are a lot of families who've adopted from there.  We signed up with an agency.  We were waiting to save more money before we started more of the process.  Now I'm thinking we might have been waiting for a different reason.  Just recently Ethiopia changed their international adoption.  They are saying they will cut adoption by 90%.  Many don't believe they will cut it that much but no one really knows yet.  The things I read still say plan on significant delays.  We were already looking at 2yrs or more before.  A country can stop adoption at any time. 
I asked my friend, who I ask all my adoption questions to, if she knew of other programs.  She told me her friend is just completing an adoption from the Democratic Republic of Congo.  I started looking more into Congo.  International adoption is still fairly new there.  There are an estimated 5 million orphans there.  So we have decided to go with Congo for our adoption.  We have to apply with a new agency.  We just mailed our first application in. 

Deciding to Adopt

The title of my blog says it all.  I really thought we were done having kids.  Sometimes in life something comes along that we never expected.  I debated whether to start a blog or not.  After reading so many other blogs of people who adopted, I thought it will be a good way to keep a journal of our journey.  Hopefully I'll do better than I do on my facebook.

Deciding to adopt has been a huge decision for us.  We've been talking about it and praying for a year.  What started it all??  There was a family I met during soccer season last year.  Their son played on my oldest son's soccer team.  They adopted a beautiful girl from Ethiopia.  They are a wonderful  family.   Throughout the season I got to know them and they told me about adopting their daughter.  I didn't feel inspired at first, but as time went on I started thinking about it.  Maybe we are suppose to adopt.  I thought there was no way Larry was going to agree to this.  I needed to make sure this was something I really wanted to do. 

I thought and prayed about it for a few months before I mentioned anything to Larry.  His reaction was what I expected. "I thought we were done"  Amaya just started school and now I wanted to start all over.  Our kids are all at the easier stages right now.  Things are good.  We decided not to rush into anything and think about it. 

6 months later I still felt really strong about it.  I started talking more about it to Larry.  He started to warm up to the idea.  It is very expensive to adopt, so that was a major issue.  We know this is what we are suppose to do.  We have been saving and also thinking of fundraisers we could do.    We were going to adopt from Ethiopia, but things have been changing with their adoption process.  We are now considering Democratic Republic of Congo.  I know where ever we are led will be the place we are supppose to adopt.  We hope to adopt a girl 0-3years old.  Amaya is very excited to have a sister!